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This Kid Cries When He Finds Out He’s Going to DisneyWorld and Here’s Why

First of all the DisneyWorld theme park has had countless tragedies and is shrouded in mystery. Here are a few facts about DisneyWorld that this kid in the video clearly knows.

1. Employees at DisneyWorld refer to it as a concentration camp

Although described by many visitors as “the happiest place on earth,” Disney parks often prove just the opposite to their employees. The staff at Disneyland Paris seem particularly hard-hit; in 2010, after a shift in management that increased their workload, two park employees committed suicide. One, a chef named Frank, scratched a message into his wall before hanging himself: “Je ne veux pas retourner chez Mickey” (I don’t want to go back to Mickey’s house). Employees (many of whom make just over minimum wage), complain of exhausting six-day workweeks, and claim there is little chance for advancement. When management got wind that their disgruntled staff was referring to the park as “Mousewitz” after concentration camp Auschwitz, they urged them to stop.

2. Human remains are left all over DisneyWorld

In November of 2007, security cameras caught a woman dumping an unknown substance during the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride at Disneyland. Security arrived after the woman left, and Anaheim police identified the substance as cremated human remains. The ride was shut down, and it took over an hour to clean up the mess. Strangely enough, this is not an isolated occurrence. Perhaps not coincidentally, Disney insiders have asserted that the most common ride for mourners to pour ashes from is the “Haunted Mansion.”

3. Feral cats run DisneyWorld

Keeping up the illusion of a pristine, child-friendly utopia on Disneyland’s sprawling 85 acres is no easy task. After the park closes, an army of workers descend on its streets, sweeping and blasting away gum stuck to the sidewalk. There are even divers that collect the garbage that is dropped in water rides. But Disney has even more unorthodox “employees,” a legion of some 200 feral cats that roam the grounds. While it might seem to behoove the park to rid itself of the cats, they serve an important purpose: keeping the rodent population in check. For their part, the cats behave themselves, lying low during daylight hours. And should a kitty peek out at you from behind the Matterhorn, Disney management seems convinced it would be far less traumatizing than seeing a rat scamper across Main Street, USA.

4. The Beatles disbanded at DisneyWorld

Unfortunately, they were nearly as well-known for dissension in their ranks as they were for their hits. They squabbled over financial advisors, George Harrison slept with Ringo’s wife, John Lennon sought a singles career alongside paramour Yoko Ono: the list spiraled out of control. It was all over by 1970, but litigation continued until 1974. On December 29, 1974, while vacationing at Walt Disney World with his family, John Lennon finally signed the paperwork that broke up The Beatles forever.

5. North Korean leaders love DisneyWorld

For decades, North Korea has been known as something of an “evil empire,” and its leaders have been recognized for cartoonish excesses. There seemed no limit to the superhuman extravagance of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il; he reportedly consumed $750,000 worth of Hennessey cognac every year, owned over 17 mansions, and (according to the North Korean state website) never pooped. Once, he kidnapped a pair of directors to make him his very own Godzilla knock-off movie. It should not seem so very strange that his sons would have similar fixations. Using false identities, both current ruler Kim Jong-Un and his brother, Kim Jong-Chul, visited Tokyo Disneyland as children. In 2001, eldest son Kim Jong-Nam brought shame on the family (and dashed his hopes of becoming the heir to the rule of North Korea) when he was caught using a forged Dominican Republic passport trying to sneak into Japan so he could visit Tokyo Disneyland himself.

6. Richard Nixon loves DisneyWorld

Although every commander in chief from George Washington to Barack Obama is represented with an individual animatronic figure in Walt Disney World’s “Hall of Presidents,” few have been as deeply tied to Disney as Richard Nixon. A very frequent visitor to Disneyland, his most epic moment at Disney would be held in Florida, at Walt Disney World, on November 17, 1973. Facing down hundreds of reporters in the midst of the Watergate scandal, he delivered his famous “I am not a crook” speech. But of course he was a crook, and nine months later, he delivered a somewhat less-vehement speech announcing his resignation from the Presidency.

7. Mickey Mouse and his co-horts are molesters 

Perhaps the most bizarre tale to emerge from Disney parks is the prevalence of lewd cartoon characters. In 1976, a woman filed a lawsuit claiming one of the Three Little Pigs grabbed her inappropriately. In 2004, a Tigger actor was accused of molesting a 13-year-old girl and her mother. In 2011, Disney paid a woman off who claims a man in a Donald Duck costume grabbed her breasts.

Next time your son cries when you tell him your taking him to DisneyWorld you’ll know why.

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